Chemistry Class
BY:Sara White


'NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys.
Is the mixture water and oil?

background: Lou decides his "boys" need a lesson in school.
They get to choose the class, and the decision was unanimous, except
that Lance wanted to take Fashion Arts 101. All ten are crowded into
a chemistry room, fidgeting nervously... 

Mr. Moss:
[note: yes, this is mine and jordie's real chemistry teacher]
Alright guys, let's get started! Take out some paper, and we'll get 
some 
notes on the lab we'll do today.

Justin:
Yo, JC-dawg, can I borrow some paper, yo?

JC:
You should have come prepared Justin, but here, I have paper.

Howie:
*trying to make an unspoken peace, I guess*
Joey!
*wink*
Can I borrow some
*drool*
paper?

Joey:
Bite me, gay boy.

Nick:
What?

Lance:
Nick! I didn't notice you here!
*smiles coyly*

*Nick ignores Lance, as Brian looks on approvingly. Lance
gives a sniffle, but ignores Nick's rudeness.*

Mr. Moss:
Forget about the damn paper! Let's just get a partner and go to the 
lab. 
Hurry up, now.

Brian:
Nick, you're with me.

Justin:
JC! I be gettin some answers off you dawg!

Kevin:
AJ... don't... make... me... work... with... Lance...

AJ:
Dear God, why all these queers? Fine Kevin, I'm with you... yea.

Joey:
Lance?

*Lance is too busy swooning over Nick to notice Joey's request.
Joey gets angry, and decides to work with Chris. Chris is
estatic because he thought no one liked him*

Lance:
I don't have a partner Mr. Moss! They left me!

Mr. Moss:
I wonder why, now you're with Howie.

Howie:
*wink, drool*
Hi Lance, I'm Howie.

*Lance sighs*

Mr. Moss:
We are going to be working with three tools today. A beaker, a 
scoopula, and
and candy powder.
*sighs at the simplicity, but continues, obeying Lou's orders*
Now, take the candy and pour it all into the beaker.

AJ:
You faggot! You spilled it!

Kevin:
I... I... I sorry.

Howie:
Hey Lance, I bet this candy is
*wink, drool*
"lickably" good.

Lance:
Fresh!
*slaps Howie*

Mr. Moss:
Once the candy is in the beaker, please just take a scoopula full out. 
Please, it's not too much to ask, is it?

Lance:
A SCOOPULA? OMG THAT'S ME! Get it JC? I'm Scoop, and this is a 
"scoopula."
*giggles uncontrollably*

Mr. Moss:
Mr. Bass, we are not here to have fun. Laughing is bad. Never, ever, 
laugh in 
lab. Please continue to work quietly.

Howie:
*snickers, and drools*
Haha Lance, you got yelled at. I'm being good today.

*At this point, Mr. Moss looks around the room, dumbfounded as to
how he explained the lab wrong. Joey seems to be eating everyone's 
candy,
while JC is attempting to snort it using the scoopula. Justin is 
admiring 
himself in the
reflection of Brian and Nick's scoopula.*

Mr. Moss:
I QUIT! Lou can't pay me enough! Retards! That's what you all are! 
Retards!

*Kevin burts into uncontrollable tears, as Brian comforts him*

Nick:
Wow, I look so cute today! Haha, Brian, remember that girl who
said I was the most adorable boy in America?

Justin:
Wut da hell?

Lance:
I think you're cute Nick.

Joey:
*mimicks*
I think you're cute Nick. Gag me.

Mr. Moss:
Leave! Leave now! Go, go before I shoot you!

Brian:
BSB! To the batmobile!

*Nick looks dumbfounded, and Howie is winking out of
control.*

AJ:
Calling all idiots! Hello! Get the hell out of here!

*All the Backstreet Boys exit the room, and Joey trots behind*

JC:
JOEY! Get back here! We're going this way, Einstien.

*The room is empty, as Mr. Moss weeps silently at his desk*